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About Varied / Hobbyist Member AleshaFemale/United States Groups :iconneomi-trix-fc: NEOmi-triX-FC
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Deviant for 3 Years
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Red Moon by GingaAkam

Very nice~! The detail put into the teeth is an important focal point that you obviously put effort into, I can see light fur lines in ...




  • Mood: Thrilled
  • Listening to: Mystery Skulls


Honestly glad to see my money going into such a wonderful project, this one turned out...well, better than I had hoped actually <3 and I think it took the whole fandom by surprise ;D Interested to see what humanizations come out from this video, too.
  • Mood: Humiliated
  • Listening to: Mystery Skulls
  • Reading: College Reports
So, I went to the appointment this morning. I was so nervous that I nearly vomited, but hey, at least I actually went.

The doctor I went to see had to talk to a higher-up person, but they got me in and talked to me and figured out what I actually needed- it's a miracle and a half the higher-up dude even saw me in the first place, but he actually took a bit of time to explain things to me too, though I can't remember much of what he said...

Anyways, what basically happened was I walked in there, saw my guy, we talked for a while while we waited for the higher-up to come in (it was an emergency appointment, really) and when he did we got in. My dude told the higher-up about the situation and then they called me into the office. Everyone spoke really fast and asked me questions they had to ask a few times for me to understand (sleep deprivation is a wonderful thing) but, things got worked out for the better <3

the office visit itself was incredibly awful though. It's an EXTREMELY low-end office in the first place, so I don't know what I was expecting, really, but...I dunno. It was a bit of a reality check for me. I feel very...dehumanized, after this visit. Like I'm nothing but all my problems. They kept telling me that I'll be normal soon enough, and that they can fix me with these medicines, and just... it felt really awful. He prescribed me a bunch of stuff, and wants me to come back for another visit to prescribe even more. I just...I know I should be happy, and I guess I am in one way, but in another I feel really really bad and just...not okay. 

Like, I already KNOW there's medical problems and all that, but I've been living with them and dealing and slowly learning how to cope with them myself. I was actually starting to feel okay about myself and my medical issues, but after this...I don't know, it's a serious kick in the face. Just, I'm not okay emotionally right now...but physically, I'm going to be okay. I'm sure I'll get over this in some time.

Still, very VERY blessed I at least didn't have to go to the hospital like we all thought I would, (it's literally like a 1 in 1,000 chance he'd see me for those moments) so that's awesome. I hate getting blood drawn x_x

Basically, I'm going to be okay <3 <3 I got my main medical issue taken care of, now they're just sort of...testing out other stuff on me to see what'll work and what won't. o-o Now let's hope THIS one goes well too...
  • Mood: Panic
  • Listening to: Marilyn Manson-Golden Age of Grotesque Album
  • Reading: College Reports
I'm super nervous for this Wednesday. I've got this who works at this really freaking crappy doctor's office, and I've got an appointment with try to figure out some medical issues. It's E X T R E M E L Y likely he basically won't do anything and will tell me to just come back in December, SOOOO if that happens my mother's already told me she's gonna take me to the hospital to see if maybe they can do something about it.

I've gotta skip class that day too which is really really bad because this means I probably won't get feedback on my portfolio...

And besides that, if I have to go to the hospital, it's likely it'll all be bad enough that I won't be able to work or possibly even go to college this Friday aka Halloween

Which means I'm pretty much guaranteed to get fired from my job, medical issue or not it's the busiest day of the year and they N E E D people there....and I won't be yeah I'll probably get fired from my job.

And I'm already pretty much fucked financially.

I'm really not digging this whole October thing right now. I'm not even excited for Halloween anymore...cause I know I'll either be in a semi-critical condition and can't celebrate, or I'll be working and can't celebrate. Either way it's gonna be a bad day/night for me...

At the same time, too, I feel really bad leaving all these negative journals about all this crap and I feel like you guys don't really care to hear about it or just really don't need any more negativity in your lives and I totally understand that

But at the same time

I'm just really really scared lately and I don't really have anyone to talk to about it because everyone I usually talk to is having a super hard time right now too, so I'm trying to be positive for them...but I can't really even be positive for myself, so... I just can't express how scared I actually am of this whole situation. Like, I've even started having nightmares again I'm so scared and stressed. Other things have been happening too, but that's kind of personal stuff, so...yeah... but, just take my word for it, this is a pretty serious manner.

Basically, if it all works out then I'll be perfectly fine and will have stressed so much for no reason. But if it doesn't work out... uhmm. I don't even want to think about it, actually.

It MIGHT get better, or it MIGHT get worse...I just don't know...and not knowing is what's scaring me so much.

God do I need a real hug right now...

I love you guys, okay? Don't...don't take life for granted. It's a really important thing. Don't take your medication or any other health conditions for granted either- it's perfectly okay if you have to take ADHD meds or Depression meds or have to get Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or need to get Physical Therapy done or...just...anything. Okay? It's okay. It's all okay. It's really important you do these things, because it's the only way you're going to get better or stay better. You've got to put in the effort to get better, but you've got to do the easy things too- even if you think they're embarrassing, don't be embarrassed, please. They're extremely important. Really important...

I'll let you guys know what's goes on once it all goes down, if anyone's interested...until then, I hope you all have a brilliant day filled with all the natural beauty and wonders of the world <3
Cookie (New Character) (W.I.P) by dragonholder411
Cookie (New Character) (W.I.P)
Noticed it's been a few months since my last upload, so here's a little W.I.P shot while I procrastinate my 15 hours of homework I have left to do in one and a half days. *sobs eternally*

He's a character for a short comic I'm going to be making with a friend who does a kickass job at drawing cartoon/anime people. She's drawing the human characters and I'm doing the monster characters- that way we can both adapt to drawing and continuing comics/mangas while still being comfortable with the work.

He's pretty large, not like giant sized, but I'd say.... larger than a Clydesdale horse, though not all that much larger. Large enough for a child to ride on, really, but a teenager would for sure be pushing it. He's super clumsy, but has really quick reactions so he almost always catches himself before he gets hurt. His feet are large cat paws with large talons on them to help him grip to tree branches and cliff edges. He's made to live in a heavily forested area (despite his large size) though he spends most of his time in the air. His hearing is very acute as well, but his eyesight is rather poor. His eyes are also vertically set instead of horizontally, but his pupils can move anywhere in the eye- even behind.

He also likes to try to swim sometimes by paddling his tail and stretching out his wings so he floats. His tongue is fairly short, too, doesn't really extend outside the mouth. He's pretty friendly and curious, but can easily get into trouble. Also, his name is Cookie because he's sweet but also because he was named by like, a 6 year old boy. His brown fur and sweet smell (Cookie eats fruits for the most part) reminds the character of cookies as well, so hence the name.

Since this is nearly the last piece of personal art I've had time to do (this was made about 2 months ago) figured this would be best since I'm too nervous to put up any of my college work so far. Hope you all enjoy it~

  • Mood: Suffering
  • Listening to: Echo-Vocaloid
  • Reading: Assignment Deadlines
  • Drinking: Cherry Coca Cola
So my big portfolio for college that decides whether I get to continue with my major or not is due in about 2 days


I left my charger for my Macbook at college.

Which I can't pick up until after my portfolio is due.

I have a way around this, but it's literally like bending over backwards to get done...and is almost impossible to get done on time. So, literally no sleep for like the next 2-3 days probably...just so I can get shit done. But it's better than nothing I suppose...

Then of course, there's the other assignments to do...

And my paycheck didn't add up enough so I'm behind on bills now. Not by much, but still enough to be a problem...

And that doctor's appointment I had turned out to be something totally different than what I was given the impression of, so there's a good chance my medical issues are actually going to get hella worse in about a week instead of better... because my treatment is so damn expensive...

And I SHOULD do commissions to try to boost my funds, but I literally have no time for it right now. I barely even get to make personal art anymore.

And then there's financial stress with my family too, and some of my best friends are having a super hard time too so I'm trying to stay positive and support them at the same time because they really need it right now

I don't know what to do...I'm really just really really lost and kinda broken right now.

*sobs eternally*


Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
(ノ✿◕ヮ◕)ノ~『✧~*Purification in progress...*~✧』

⺈﹒︷﹒⺈ Rawr. I am ferocious artist. Phear me. PHEAR, I SAYS!
  • Mood: Thrilled
  • Listening to: Mystery Skulls


Honestly glad to see my money going into such a wonderful project, this one turned out...well, better than I had hoped actually <3 and I think it took the whole fandom by surprise ;D Interested to see what humanizations come out from this video, too.

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A premium membership would be nice, apparently I can do a lot more things with a premium than I can now Oo So if anyone is awesome enough to donate, I'd be extremely grateful!! Not like I'm expecting it to actually happen or anything though, but hey, it's worth a shot, right? ^^ At the least I can use the points to give things to other people, or commission other artists for arts for other people as present was well. ^^

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guitargirl200 Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist

dragonholder411 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
guitargirl200 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
dragonholder411 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I've been good~ Been feeling pretty positive and cuddly lately, actually xD Been super clingy on Jack the past week and a half, he seems to really enjoy the extra attention though~ ALSO I TOOK AN EXAM AND I DID GUD *soproud*

I think I might be losing a little weight lately though which isn't a good thing but we just haven't had much to eat at the house so I've been skipping and skimping out on meals hhhh but it's only like a few pounds, I think, Ive mostly just noticed a difference with my appetite and blood pressure

HOW'RE YOU THOUGH EHH?? I've just been doing the same thing I always do, sleep, art, and poke small children with sticks I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO

Oh also, we're babysitting a cat right now that we might end up getting to keep and we might be getting a second kitty cat too eeee kitty kitty <3 <3
(1 Reply)
DougSQ Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Thank you for the fav.Hug 
para-keet-normal Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I wuv you
swag62 Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Dragon what livestream tool did you use?
dragonholder411 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Uhhmmmmmmmmmmm....I used the one that came form Livestream itself, I believe~ Along with my computer's built-in webcam. c:
swag62 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Oh okay
NEOmi-triX Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
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