Quick Update

So, I went to the appointment this morning. I was so nervous that I nearly vomited, but hey, at least I actually went.

The doctor I went to see had to talk to a higher-up person, but they got me in and talked to me and figured out what I actually needed- it's a miracle and a half the higher-up dude even saw me in the first place, but he actually took a bit of time to explain things to me too, though I can't remember much of what he said...

Anyways, what basically happened was I walked in there, saw my guy, we talked for a while while we waited for the higher-up to come in (it was an emergency appointment, really) and when he did we got in. My dude told the higher-up about the situation and then they called me into the office. Everyone spoke really fast and asked me questions they had to ask a few times for me to understand (sleep deprivation is a wonderful thing) but, things got worked out for the better <3

the office visit itself was incredibly awful though. It's an EXTREMELY low-end office in the first place, so I don't know what I was expecting, really, but...I dunno. It was a bit of a reality check for me. I feel very...dehumanized, after this visit. Like I'm nothing but all my problems. They kept telling me that I'll be normal soon enough, and that they can fix me with these medicines, and just... it felt really awful. He prescribed me a bunch of stuff, and wants me to come back for another visit to prescribe even more. I just...I know I should be happy, and I guess I am in one way, but in another I feel really really bad and just...not okay. 

Like, I already KNOW there's medical problems and all that, but I've been living with them and dealing and slowly learning how to cope with them myself. I was actually starting to feel okay about myself and my medical issues, but after this...I don't know, it's a serious kick in the face. Just, I'm not okay emotionally right now...but physically, I'm going to be okay. I'm sure I'll get over this in some time.

Still, very VERY blessed I at least didn't have to go to the hospital like we all thought I would, (it's literally like a 1 in 1,000 chance he'd see me for those moments) so that's awesome. I hate getting blood drawn x_x

Basically, I'm going to be okay <3 <3 I got my main medical issue taken care of, now they're just sort of...testing out other stuff on me to see what'll work and what won't. o-o Now let's hope THIS one goes well too...